2 Ways to Get Your Toddler to Fall Asleep Alone Tonight
How much time do you waste every single night laying with your toddler while they fall asleep? 1 hour? 2 hours? Longer?
If your toddler won't sleep without you in the room, I hear you screaming to yourself...
“I Don’t Want To Be A Prisoner in My Kids Room Anymore!”
**If you haven't read the truth about WHY your toddler can't sleep alone, check out Part 1 here. You need to get really comfortable with this sleep truth in order to be successful.**
But how the hell do you actually DO it?
How do you get out of the room?
How do you avoid the screaming, the meltdown, the tantrums, the chasing....
Well, there are a variety of ways and they are only limited by your imagination.
The answer depends on two key factors:
- Your parenting style
- Your child’s personality
Here are 2 strategies. Figure out which one will work best for your situation and start tonight to solve your toddler sleep problems.
1. Hands-Off Approach
Let's use an analogy of when your kiddo was learning how to walk.
When your child was learning how to walk, you could have taken a very hands-off approach and let them have the full experience of learning to walk right away. You don't try and stop them from pulling up, you don't try to prevent them from taking steps, you make sure your kid is in a safe space and then let their hands go so they can figure it out on their own – falls and all.
This hands-off approach works well if kids are still in a crib, are newly in a toddler bed or if their need for you to lay with them until they fall asleep is new and they were recently able to fall asleep on their own. You make sure their room is a completely safe space. Think of their room as a giant crib. You say good night and use a baby gate to keep them in their room.
2. Progressive Approach
You can take a more progressive approach – like when they were learning to walk and you let them hold your fingers, or knelt right next to them to grab them before they hit the ground as they were taking their first stumbly steps.
But, just like when you were helping them walk, you HAVE to help them less and less to give them a chance to experience walking and get better at it.
Think of what you’re doing now while your kid is falling asleep.
Laying in bed with them, cuddling them, starting them off in your bed, holding hands, rubbing their back, sitting on the floor, sitting in a chair. Every family is unique so think about your bedtime routine.
And then think of how you can remove yourself
slowly so they can experience falling asleep alone.
(read why this is SO important, here)
Here are some ideas to try if your toddler won't sleep without you in the room...
- You could try excusing yourself and coming back to check on them from the door. Saying you have to go potty is a great excuse that kids understand.
- You could sit on the floor instead of laying in the bed.
- You cold involve yourself less and less and babystep yourself out of the process.
For example, if you’re cuddling them while they fall asleep, just cuddle for a minute and then put a hand on their back while they fall asleep. The next step could be taking your hand away. The next step could be sitting on the floor next to the bed. The next step could be sitting by the door. And then you can move out of the door.
Ultimately, you HAVE TO get comfortable with giving your kiddo the experience of falling asleep alone.
Solo sleepers have less overnight wake ups and experience better quality sleep. Which means you will too!
If you're really just fed up, feeling stuck and feeling unsure that anything will actually work for your super stubborn kiddo, let's set up a free Sleep Strategy call to figure out how quickly we can get your kiddo sleeping solo. My personalized coaching service comes with the accountability and daily support that guarantees results. CLICK HERE