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  • Jessica Berk

Is Sleep Training Selfish?

Listen, us moms can endure A LOT. We put everyone’s needs above our own and, most of the time, we don’t complain about it. We are always last on our own list. I think it’s just part of the mom DNA.

And if your child really seems to need YOU with them in order to go to sleep or sleep through the night, it may seem like it’s your job to be there.

So, the idea of trying to get out of their room might seem kinda selfish. And doing selfish things really isn’t the mom-way.

If you’ve ever felt this way, let me challenge this idea and show you a whole new way of looking at the situation.


>>Watch this blog on my Awesome Little Sleepers YouTube channel! 👇


If you’ve been stuck laying in your child’s bed for hours waiting for them to fall asleep. Or waking up through the night to play musical beds. Or welcoming a toddler into your bed at 2am and you’re sick of it, you may have tried to change things.

Now, if you’ve tried to change things and it hasn’t worked, you may have decided that your child just CAN’T sleep without you. Maybe they’re just too strong-willed or maybe they aren’t capable of sleeping independently for some reason. Or maybe you’re concerned that if you try and get out of this sleep situation that your relationship will be damaged.

So, you make a decision. And it may be an unconscious one. You decide that they must really NEED you at night. Not a preference but a NEED.

So you’ve just given in and accepted it as your fate. Your job.

And once you take it on as your responsibility, the prospect of trying to get out of it seems almost selfish.

And even if you’re exhausted and feel like a walking zombie who hasn’t slept through the night in a year, you STILL won’t change things because it feels selfish.

The Health Benefits of Sleep for Kids

But what if getting your child sleeping through the night independently was the best thing for THEM?

What if working to get your child 10-12 hours of consistent sleep through the night with no wake ups was actually the healthiest thing you could do for them?

Countless studies have shown that sleep plays a vital role in your child’s developing mind & body.

✅ Sleep impacts your child’s attention span, cognitive performance and memory. All of which are incredibly important considering how much learning toddlers & preschoolers are doing each day.

✅ Poor sleep in childhood has been linked to consequences later in life like childhood obesity, anxiety and even depression.

✅ And sleep has a direct effect on happiness and mood. I’m sure you’ve seen this with your child AND yourself.

✅ According to the American Academy of Pediatrics, 25% of kids under the age of 5 don’t get adequate sleep. Even minimal sleep loss can have an effect on your child’s daily life.

Poor sleep is a health concern for your child.

Like not eating vegetables or not getting exercise.

That’s why it’s one of the handful of questions that your pediatrician asks you every time you go in for a visit.

Going to bed on time and sleeping through the night are not just “nice to haves” or something that only “lucky” families experience. It should be a priority for you and your kids to get consistent healthy sleep each night.

I’m not sharing these statistics to scare you, I’m sharing this so you understand how important sleep is and that it is not selfish at all to make the necessary changes to get your child sleeping well.

I’ve heard this a million times.

“She wakes me up a couple times a night but all I have to do is walk her back to bed, tuck her in and hold her hand for a few minutes and then she’s back to sleep. It’s no big deal.”

I hope you see now that it IS actually a big deal. And not just for you, for her, too. For her MORE.

The families who are most successful at changing poor sleep habits are the ones who focus on the benefit to the child, not the parent.

So, even if you want your child to sleep better because YOU’RE exhausted, you need to remember how important it is for your child.

Because when you feel like you’re doing something for yourself, you’re more likely to give up.

And what if it was healthiest for you too?

For you to be able to have a peaceful drama-free bedtime and go to sleep with confidence that you won’t be woken up.

For you to be able to have a few kid-free hours at night to yourself to relax, spend time with your spouse or just straighten up the house in peace.

It’s a win-win for everybody.

If you’re ready to get started, I invite you to join my next Toddler Sleep Masterclass. It’s totally free and you can sign up at a time that is convenient for you.

See you in class!




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